Twain Tables Up for Landing

Vanity, definitely my favorite sin.
Post from a LOT Airlines napkin: 


When I have the displeasure of leaving this world, I at least want to leave a quote behind. Or maybe a witty saying. Quotes are awesome, and I want one. Maybe something I write down on a napkin. I don’t even need my tray table; I have a knee, a napkin, and a blue pen. Better yet, I can just say something really witty to my neighbor. But he is Polish (i.e., doesn’t speak English). 

Kids may say the darndest things, but adults say the damndest things. Hey that is good. Not going to do it though, keep practicing. 

Post continued, off the Napkin onto the back of my boarding pass: 


“Hey Ronnie, how many donuts in the top oven?” 

“Six.” Ronnie cracked his knuckles and stretched his lower back by pushing out his arms towards Chuck. A piece of dough fell from his elbow to the ground. Chuck wrote down “6” on a napkin. 

“How many in the bottom oven?” Chuck rubbed his chin so he could focus on the math that awaited him. A streak of flower decorated his bottom lip. 

“Half a dozen.” Ronnie shook his head and asked God when he would get the hell out of the donut industry. 

“Great, so there is six in one, and half a dozen in the…hey, that is clever of you Ronnie. Maybe we can do this again tomorrow morning at the 3:00am oven count.” 

Okay, I’m back from yet another strange dialogue in my head. The more I think about it, having a witty quote or saying that lasts, one that aces the test of time, is going to require fame. You see, nobody cares unless you are famous. Quotes are just like t-shirts, and they have a label. Nobody wants a generic quote. 

You may say the most interesting thing in the world, and your words may even linger for years after you are gone, but if you are an average Joe the worst thing will happen… and you will roll over in your average grave, because what will happen will look like this:

Bloody hell means Jesus, but only in that direction – you can’t say to your nemesis, “Oh yea? I’ll see you in Jesus.” – UNKOWN

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Categories: Bloody Hell, Life, Milestone, Rambling

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