When I want to be a kid again I go to the movies and fill up a plastic bag with candy. You know the kind, the stuff you pay for by-the-pound. The options are exhilarating. I lick my lips and decide which ones I want to dig into. I ignore my age and fail to consider at what weight my bag becomes unreasonable. If it looks good, I just shovel it in.
I generally stick to the major candy groups: sours, sweets, gummies, and ropes. I’m a sour man. I sprinkle in a few gummy bears, Hot Tamales, and Jujubees. Just maybe a mystery item or two. I do not, under any circumstances, put anything prepackaged in my bag. That is, unless the “packaging” is edible ala wax bottles. It is also crucial to avoid the process of elimination method since the bag may become too full before I even get to the lower tear tins (let’s face it, that is where the stuff with marshmallows or nuts is kept). I survey the offerings, and then I pounce. The previews aren’t going to wait, you know. It’s important to have a plan.
Once in a while the plastic shovel is ineffective against a fortified gummy wall of Swedish Fish. Have no fear, the engineers have helped us out here – just slide the shovel along the bottom of the graded bin and pull from the bottom. It works. And if it doesn’t, just grab another bag and use it as a glove. I know – you are thinking that no kid would ever have a hygienic back-up plan to the plastic shovel malfunction. Well this kid did, and still does. I had an edge too, though. For those unidentified candy objects – I was never afraid to take a quick over the shoulder peak and try one. Or two.