Bloody Hell vs The J-Man

One of my favorite posts from the early days:
I am uninterested in spending two years in London only to sit around compariing the UK to the US.  I just will not do it (my goodness they fry everything here).
Jump in and call five pounds five quid, that is the ticket to assimilation.  Football is football from here on, I won’t even mention the S word.  But one thing, one little nuance, I have to explore even if it requires a comparison to American vernacular:  bloody hell. 
Harry Potter Ron Weasley
Bloody hell, look at my wand.
The fact is I actually said “bloody hell” to myself when a gaggle of about ten lorries past me by when I tried to cross Fulham Rd to catch the tube.  Ignoring what I just wrote, did I really say bloody hell under my breath?  Yes, I did.  But what does it really mean? 
We get the gist, right.   It is a hell that is bloody.  Not a place where you want to host a fundraiser (or is it?  So many politicians and lawyers…deep pockets in hell, even if the place is bloody.  Tangent noted, sorry).  But I want to know the root of it, the historical signigicance and I may just ask the judge to use it in a sentence (“bloody hell, just get on with it.” … “Root of orgin?”).  I don’t want to google it, or wikki leak it.  I want to know it, and live it, because my subconscious now demands that I use it.  I shall not use terms that I do not really understand, right?  But I can’t just ask someone about it, that would be lame.  “Excuse me nice old lady, sorry to disturb your pint, but what does bloody hell mean?”

So I have figured it out through dreaded red, white, and blue comparison.  Bloody hell means Jesus, but only in that direction (you can’t say to your nemisis, “Oh yea? I’ll see you in Jesus.”).  Note that when I say Jesus, I am talking about the “oh shit” variety here, not the wine into water type of action.  With that in mind, it is clear to me that they, meaning everyone who says it, say “bloody hell” when we say “Jesus!” – observe:
Me: Bloody hell, Sydney Crosby is on fire!
Doyle: Jesus, he is.  I guess he isn’t overrated.  Sorry I made fun of you in our fantasy hockey league. 
You see?  Perhaps one more:
Hypothetical Husband at the beach in France: Jesus, that hot chick has hairy under arms.
Hypothetical and lovely Wife: Bloody hell Hypothetical Husband, grow up and behave.
The point is, America, we have been using the “oh shit” Jesus all wrong.  Why use a higher power’s name in vain when there is a perfectly good substitute available that invokes both (1) a hell, and (2) blood?  Bloody hell just seems closer to “oh shit” to me, and even if it isn’t, I am going to use the bejesus out of it.  It is my calling.  Happy writing….

Categories: Bloody Hell, Rambling

Tags: , ,

5 replies

  1. Oh my. I laughed so hard. I blame Ron from Harry Potter for making all terms such as bloody hell and brilliant positive terms. 🙂 Oh shit is so much more apt but not as much fun to say.

    Here is some evening stupidity debating similar issues

  2. I giggled when I read this. When I read the Harry Potter books aloud to my daughters, I slip into the lilting accent from the movies. I just can’t help it.

    Bloody hell, that’s brilliant, that is!

  3. Thank you so much Trini, really appreciate it!

  4. Bloddy hell Dominic…….you are too much. Keep writing lad. Love it.

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