In the third of four installments, I now turn to the middle questions posed the prodigious Read Tom Lucas, my nominator for the Liebster Award. Yes, I’m really stretching this out. Truth is, his questions are fantastic prompts and I’m really enjoying them as warm ups. Get off my back, revision is prison and I’m no Andy Dufresne.
- Your house is haunted by the ghost of a dead celebrity. Tell us about it.
Casper the Friendly Ghost must rule the TMZ of the afterworld since he was pretty much dead to begin with. He was the first dead celeb, from my perspective, and I have to think you’d want someone like him on your side if you were in this type of situation. You see, he became a celebrity because he was dead.
- Tell me a fantastic lie.
I have never lied, and refuse to start now.
- You’re a cannibal (just go with it). What’s your favorite recipe?
This reminds me of the Jeffery Dahmer joke. Do you know what he gave his dinner guests if they were late? The cold shoulder. This also reminds me of the movie Alive. I’m trying to go with it, okay I have stalled enough. I’d have to go with Human Asada Tacos, heavy on the cilantro and Tapatio; only after thirty days in a haunted jail with no food or drink. Oh yea, the tacos would have to be accompanied by a carton of Pacificos. I’d finish off with an Andes mint (anyone get it?).
- I just pushed you to the ground and took your lunch money. What are you going to do about it?
Wait until you buy lunch and then (i) knock you out with the swing of a bag of grapples, (2) eat your lunch sitting next to your girlfriend, and (c) strap you down on three lunch trays, situated like a gurney, and feed you through that nasty lunch-tray-train – you know, the one that leads into the kitchen where hair-netted-prepubescent underclassmen would then proceed to pulverize you with hand-squeezed sprays from industrial sized ketchup bottles. Nobody messes with my lunch money, fool. Then I’d get back to class, for obvious reasons.
(Final inSTALLment coming soon. Anyone else using these questions as writing prompts?)
Categories: Creative Writing