It happened again: I became a better writer. It’s true. Not that it was anything I did. In fact, I haven’t pecked at the keys, studied the craft, or even read for pleasure in months. Strictly speaking, all I did was put on scrubs and give time a ride.
And here I am, on the other side of the equation – a few months down the road and now the father of two. And at just four months old, our princess already has me wrapped around her little fingers. Yea, I’m toast. But I truly believe that I’m now a better writer (this post may not reflect this improvement just yet!). Even in her short tenure, our daughter has made me live through all those emotions a writer should – no must – be able to describe:
- Fear – yea, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Those isolated hiccups in the middle of the night pale in comparison to the expectations I have as a father of a little girl. Our little girl. There is an undeniable pressure to be a father, a friend, and her protector. Though I know I have it in me to be a great dad, there is nothing more terrifying than not being absolutely everything that she will need me to be.
- Conflict – It’s inevitable. To be fair, I’m not the type who will sit on a porch with a shotgun waiting for her to come home at 8:29PM from her first date – I’m not a gun person. I’ll be waiting in the bushes with a hockey stick…first kiss at 35 is my mantra. I’ve also seen Father of the Bride enough to know that in the blink of an eye, I’ll have to let her go. I’m going to struggle with that one, even if I walk her down the aisle at 42. I’ve seen the way other infant boys cry at her, and I don’t like it one bit.
- Perspective – It’s one thing to be married to a beautiful, wonderful, and amazing woman, but it will be another to raise one. I’m afraid I’m going to learn more about the other sex than I ever cared to know.
Perhaps more than these emotions, it’s all about persistence – with very little to no sleep, superhero action figures (and soon to be dolls?) where our wine rack used to be, and all the other things that come with parenthood, we still get on with it and enjoy the wonderful gifts we have (and we have many). This notion includes finishing the manuscripts I’ve started but haven’t found the time or energy to complete. Am I afraid of failure? Sure. Will there be conflicts along the way? Absolutely. But the joy of writing is a gift now enriched with the wonderment of being a father of two, and it’s almost an obligation to push through so that one day I can look back and revel in the idea that my writing made my family proud.
Categories: Creative Writing, family
Aw! You brought back all the memories of bringing up my daughter – probably the topmost story of my life that I would like to write about again and again, without rewriting any tiny bit of it.
God bless your daughter (she is already blessed to have a great father).
Mikup, you are too kind! I really appreciate your blessings and your kind words! I’m sure your memories , and mine, about fatherhood will always be present in our writing! Hope you are well, happy to be back on wordpress and looking forward to reading and writing again!
A writer writes, that is you….I love you, you are a great brother. You are a fantastic dad, you learned from the best….our dad 🙂
Thank you, sister. And you are definitely right about that – we learned from the best!
Glad to see you back. Wonderful to get a little insight on what you’ve had your mind working on!
Mortimer, we’re back! Crazy long break from reading and writing, though during the last few months I’ve had several stories bumping around in my tiny brain. Have some catching up to do..trust you are well (two interviews man?!) looking forward to get back into the swing of things…
What a touching post. Going through milestones in life, like birth as well as death, I believe do you make us better writers. Congratulations on your baby daughter and your new commitment to writing!
Thank you! I totally agree – life and death, like it or not, is what enriches our writing. I started writing when my sister passed away almost five years ago and haven’t really stopped since (occasional breaks for life)! Anyhow, thanks again!!!